Monday, April 26, 2010
The house is so quiet and lonely with no one here. I'm bored. I have exhausted the job search for now. About 15 resumes sent out and not 1 call back! Final paycheck coming soon and nothing coming after that.... gonna have to make some changes I suppose. Dad is finally going home today from the hospital. All is well and the infection should be treatable with some medication. Went to mom's this past weekend and we sang together at church. My stomach was all in knots the entire morning and then I got up there on stage and it all went away! God heard my silent prayers I guess. It was really great getting to sing with her. It is so great to see that she and my step dad are involved in church now. I prayed a long time for that to happen. I think one of the happiest days of my life was the day I saw them baptised together. I will never forget that. I went up to Oakwood today and visited for a while. It was a good visit although it did make me realize why I left. Things are no less crazy than when I was there and never will be probably. These past few weeks have made me realize even more, that my strength is not sufficient and my plans will fail if God is not leading me. I prayed a lot about leaving my job and I felt this peace about it although I had no idea how things would play out. I still feel a peace about it and I have to be honest in saying that because of this peace, I also feel a certain amount of guilt. All things said, I should feel anxiety about this. I should feel worried about tomorrow and the situation this puts us in, but I'm not. I just believe that God is with me right now. He knows my heart better than anyone and he knows the way I must go. I'm just going to listen and wait. Where God are you leading me? Take me there.