Wow, it's been a few days hasn't it. Well we got Annabelle's test results back and everything came back normal this time. The doctor doesn't feel we need to do anymore tests. Thank goodness!! That was a big relief for me.
I got a part time job working at a bank here in Hallsville and I love it! Too bad it's just not paying the bills. Plans were to go back to school and live off of loan money for the summer until I could get in classes full time. That's not going to work either. Appearently you can't get loan money for summer classes. ( not the amount we would need anyway)
With that being said, we are WAY behind on our bills and there just isn't any money to pay them. There is a good chance in about 2 months we could lose our house. Not good. We are scrambling trying to find something to do but nothing has come to us just yet. I have still been applying for full time jobs and calling to check up on some I already applied for. Nothing working out with that either. We have applied for assistance with our house loan but that could take up to another month IF we even qualify for anything. We traded in the van for a car that will save us about 120.00 a month so that is good but those savings will be just enough to afford the necessities.
The job is still open at my old place of employment because the lady they had hired backed out.... part of me wants to ask for the job back, but the majority of me knows it would be a mistake. So confused. I don't know what to do or what steps to take next. I am a "fixer" and I want so badly to just "fix" this. I feel so lost. I pray everyday for patience and that God's hands would work in this situation but time is running short. I try not to doubt but I can't help to have thoughts that perhaps this is God's way of saying "Wendy you made a mistake and you have to handle the consequences of that" It's hard to feel that I made a mistake leaving my job because I have so much more peace in my heart now even with the financial issues we face. But perhaps life isn't about me feeling peace or less stressed, maybe it's about sucking it up and doing what has to be done even if it means my being uncomfortable.
Lord, I need to know things are going to be okay. Can you help me please to know that things will be okay? I need an open window, a door, something to allow us to keep our heads above water. I know you haven't left us, I know you are here. Please let me feel your presense. I need a Jesus hug. I love you.